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W
E L C O M E
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Hello
and welcome to this week's issue of Lotteryzine.
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EDITOR'S
CORNER
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Hi Everyone,
Is anyone else feeling as if this year is racing by? We are into the second week of February already!
I
just want to remind everyone that next weekend has what is supposed to
be the most romantic day of the year. I hope that you have
someone special to share it with. If you do, please PLEASE
put a little thought into what you are going to do/say/give on that day
to make it extra special for your "significant other". The
effort will be well worth it, I promise you.
Have a good week.
Rita
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TICKLE
YOUR FUNNY BONE
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Ladies, Read Only The First Part – Men, The Rest
A
Woman was out golfing one day when she hit the ball into the woods. She
went into the woods to look for it and found a frog in a trap. The frog
said to her, “If you release me from this trap, I will grant you three
wishes.”
The woman freed the frog, and the frog said, “Thank
you, but I failed to mention that there was a condition to your wishes.
Whatever you wish for, your husband will get times ten!”
The woman said, “That’s okay.” For her first wish, she wanted to be the most beautiful woman in the world.
The
frog warned her, “You do realize that this wish will also make your
husband the most handsome man in the world, an Adonis to whom women
will flock.”
The woman replied, “That’s okay, because I will be the most beautiful Woman and he will have eyes only for me.”
So, KAZAM-she’s the most beautiful Woman in the world!
For
her second wish, she wanted to be the richest woman in the world. The
frog said, “That will make your husband the richest man in the world.
And he will be ten times richer than you.”
The woman said, “That’s okay, because what’s mine is his and what’s his is mine.”
So, KAZAM-she’s the richest woman in the world!
The frog then inquired about her third wish, and she answered, “I’d like a mild heart attack.”
Moral of the story: Women are clever. Don’t mess with them.
Attention female readers : This is the end of the joke for you. Stop here and continue feeling good.
Male readers, continue reading….
… … … … … …
The man had a heart attack ten times milder than his wife
Moral of the story: Women think they’re so smart. Let them continue to think that way and just enjoy the show.
PS: If you are a woman and are still reading this; it only goes to show that women never listen!
----------------------
Life’s Tough When You’re Stupid
A
classroom full of first year Veterinary students were participating in
their first day of anatomy class. For the lecture, the professor begins
by unveiling a dead cow under a white sheet laying on an operating
table.
The professor tells the class “In Veterinary Medicine,
there are two qualities you must possess as a doctor – the first of
which is a strong stomach. You cannot, under any circumstance, be
disgusted by anything involving an animal’s body.
For example,
the Professor pulls back the sheet and sticks his finger right up the
dead cow’s hindquarters, pulls out his finger and sticks it in his
mouth. The students just stand there, paralyzed at what they see. “Now,
go ahead and do the same thing, each of you,” the professor says.
Freaked
out, the students take several minutes but eventually take turns
sticking their fingers up into the anal cavity of the dead cow, and
then sucking on them. Once everyone is finished, the Professor
continues on with his lesson. “Now, the second important quality you
must possess is a keen observation. You see, I stuck in my middle
finger up the cow’s butt, and I sucked on my index finger. Now, learn
to pay attention.”
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The World’s Economic Viruses
Government Virus – Nothing seems to get better, but all the elected officials say it’s getting better.
Political Virus – Doesn’t actually do anything, but you can’t get rid of it until the next election.
Econometrician
Virus – Sixty percent of the economies infected will lose 17 percent of
their GDP 12 percent of the time (+/- a 2% margin of error).
Marxian Virus – Helps your economy go into a depression whenever it wants to.
Environmental Virus – Before allowing you to fix the recession, it first asks you if you’ve considered the alternatives.
Chinese Virus – Crashes your economy, but denies it ever happened and calls you a liar.
AIG Virus – Makes sure it’s too big to fail, while crashing everything else.
Stimulus
Virus – Puts your economy in a recession for four years. When you
finally recover, you’re 10 trillion more dollars in debt.
---------------------------
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If
you have a joke you would like to share,
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send to:
"yrettol@gmail.com?subject=jokes"
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TOP
ARTICLE
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List Building – How to create lists quickly and effectively
By : Michael Murphy
There
is so much to know about list building that you might really be
surprised at the number of things that you might have to consider to
get..............
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Here To Continue Reading ......
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ASK
THE ADMISTRESS - CLUES 4 SUCCESS
Copyright
© AdMistress 2009
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ASK THE ADMISTRESS - CLUES 4 SUCCESS
Get Tagged!
Copyright © AdMistress 2009
============
Tagged is a social networking site that has become very
popular. Started by Greg Tseng in 2004, Tagged started
out as a social networking site for teens with a bit of a
media twist to it. However, the site has since become
popular with a wide age range. The site offers some features
not found on the usual sites.
Tagged provides a fun, safe, and exciting environment for
people to showcase their personalities and talents, and to
connect with friends and meet new ones. Tagged offers the
standard social fare, including photo and video sharing,
online games, and widgets from slide, not to mention a
“meet me” function based entirely on one's sexual
orientation.
Features not found on the usual sites include celebrity
look-alike contests, confessions, and of course tagging your
friends. Members earn “money” for joining, making friends
and sending invites to friends, which one can use to buy
“pets”.
Users create their account by following a simplified
registration procedure. During the sign-up process, you are
given the option to put in your email credentials, so that
Tagged can then invite your friends. Like other social
networking platforms, the website allows its users to create
impressive profiles and lets them upload their pictures and
photographs stored in their pcs.
It incorporates an advanced search engine to help users
find other members of the website. Tagged lets its users
share content including, images, videos, and other such
stuff, with the other members.
It is an online place for friends to hang out, who are
actually separated by large physical distances. It keeps
users updated about their friends and other members added
on their profiles.
Tagged can also provide an interactive forum for users to
discuss any sensitive issue. In addition to overhauling
their erstwhile relationships, users can also build new ones
through this interactive platform. The website is a
customizable platform that lets users to add widgets, write
in journals and modify the profile layout.
This social networking website has a membership of over
70m, and is growing worldwide, so whilst there are people
who seem to strongly dislike Tagged, it certainly has its
fans. http://www.tagged.com/
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COMMENTS
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FRIDAY
CLASSIFIEDS
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Here
is this weeks FEATURED FREE AD:
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HOROSCOPE
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I
like to read my horoscope every
now and then (every time I come across them, if the truth be told!)
So
I have
included a link to a great site for daily
and
weekly
horoscopes.
This will open in a new window. When you are finished just
close
that window and you will return here.
Enjoy.
Click
Here to Read Your Horoscope:
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BITS
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This
section of the newsletter will cover anything and everything that does
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To
Read More ...
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CONTACT
INFO
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Rita
Jones
31
Waterhead Crescent
Thornton-Cleveleys
Lancashire
FY5
1QR
United
Kingdom
+44
(0)1253 859862
9
AM - 6 PM GMT
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